She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
