they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
