What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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