Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
