I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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