worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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