He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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