dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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