yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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