Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
