I just saw a hot homeless man
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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