im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize