legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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