watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
