first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
