I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize