Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
PANTIES FOUND
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
