where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
