opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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