when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So squirting runs in the family.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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