I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
