Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
