So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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