There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
