her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
