Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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