My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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