Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize