I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
