Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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