my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
