We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
