Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
