Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
