Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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