That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize