New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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