Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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