I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
