She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
