Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Too much gin, very little bucket
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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