Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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