I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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