You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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