North Korea, Best Korea!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Randomize
