She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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