she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
