oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
