ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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