Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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