he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
