You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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