never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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