Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
