girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i came on her dog
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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