it was like eating out sand paper
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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