He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
