On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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