i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
