I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
