Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
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