plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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