We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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