i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize