Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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