Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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