I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize