my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize